#94 Day 74-75/365 :Weekending

I was unable to update because of my busy schedule and I wasn't well last weekend.

But on Sunday, I was determined to breathe outside air. 3 days in the house not good for me.

Last week was a bit too much for me.

I was in very heavy stressed because of works and colleague.

For almost 10 years I was working, this was one of the most heavy pressure I ever had.

Maybe 1-2 occasions because of my ex-boss that have bring such pressure.

But this was the hardest in the new company.

In 4 years.

The extreme to the extend, I got headache everyday. Back pain. Stomach ache. Name it.

I didn't dare to go to see doctor because I was afraid of the diagnose. 

I know these symptoms.  I just don't want the confirmation from doctor.

Luckily, there was weekend, that I can start breath easy for awhile.

Though I was sick, the weekend interval still most welcomed.

The drop after a heavy raining last night. The air so refreshing.

It was like the rain swept and cleaned away the poluted, the smog, the haze, the dirk from the air.

#89 Day 69/365 : Rose...

Dear Blog-sama,

How was your day today?

I was very busy. Dateline on 20th but too many unfinished tasks. 

I would be more relieve if those are individual tasks.

But most need other colleagues.

Luckily for me, today was a bit peaceful day in the office.

I can work with minimum hindrances.

Hopefully I can finish on time.

#88 Day 68/365

Small white that usually used to complete a bouquet.

On its own, not really favored by most.

#84 Day 64/365 : Just being me..

I don't know what to call myself or describe 'me'. No ambition? Too low self-esteem?
Maybe all of that.

Today a friend was talking about how she thought that she needed professional help regarding her 'problem' of cannot be spontaneous in public speaking. Whether during presenting projects or during q&a in meetings.
she said she needs notes most of the time.

All these times, I never good at public speaking. Presenting project always a hell. Answering questions during meeting always giving me heart attack. Though I have ideas, I never be able to fully convey the ideas. And sometimes, I can even made people more confused with my explanation.

And yet, never have I thought about seeking professional help.

So, really, back to the question. How to describe myself?

#83 Day 63/365 : A bouquet

Another bribe?

A bouquet of lovely and vibrant roses never failed to lift up your mood.

#81 Day 61/365

The same set as yesterday.

I love its vibrant color.

Bringing a good mood and happiness.

How a flower can bring happiness?

Don't ask. 

It just did.

#80 Day 60/365 : Yellow Roses

What is it with female and their love of flowers?

Though I do not consider myself as girlish, I too love flowers.

I love its different shades of colors.

I love its different shapes.

I love its unique and individual different fragrant.

I love the different moods it represents.

I love the idea how some flowers can only be found at some places only

and ow excited can ones get when found the flower at the unexpected place.

Flowers always cheer my day.

#62 Day 42/365

Works piled up. Everyone except me in holiday mood.

But weekend coming in another 1 day.

Then 4 days non-working days.

Then My father coming to town.

Then I will meet my elder sisters and brothers.

And why I am not in holiday mood???

#53 Day 33/365

Was unable to update yesterday and will be unable for more days since I will be on a trip with my sister. Not good for this 365 project isn't it? But so far, I have surpassed my expectation. From the beginning I know I wont be able to update too frequent but until today I have posted more that I can imagine I will.
I have to be even more frequent, isn't it?
If someone asked me, what can I achieve with this 365 thingy? I am not out to impress anyone. I just want  something to do. Plus once a while pouring my heart is good to release some of the stress which I know a lot bottled up in me.
What actually worth of this? My satisfaction.
That's all and that's enough.

#44 Day 24/365 Blooming

I just love flowers. What can I say..

The beauty.. The colours.. The smell..

It can give different mood to a space.

Though not the meaning.. I never really care about the meaning..

#43 Day 23/365

 A weed that may not have a meaning to most 

but significant to some.

#28 Day 8/365

Flower.. again..

#21 Day 1/365 : New challenge

In between my busy time with works, I was thinking of doing something challenging. I have listed a few ideas but later on dismissed most of it.

Finally one idea has been chosen. I was interested in it for long time but have no confident that I can carry out which is making 365-days photo challenge. I have to post a photo a day every day for 365 or a year.

Why do I think this is not an easy task for me to accomplish while it is easy enough for most people? One thing is my internet connection sucks big time either my broadband or my phone. Second and most of all, I have this bad habit of procrastinating. A very bad habit that from years ago and until now I cannot overcome.

Right now, I have nothing that I can look forward to every day. My life is quite boring. Well, very boring actually. I rarely hanging out with friends anymore especially since the number of friends that I can hang out with keep decreasing.

I am easily depress now.  Losing my mother somehow contribute a bit I guess. Since that sad day, I feel like I lost a bit of myself and lost my confidante. There lots of thing/problem I cannot express to anyone anymore. All buckled up inside or me. Most of the time, I sleep to avoid myself thinking too much. Hence I think my health, physically and mentally, suffer a bit. Deteriorate every day.

So at least with this challenge I hope I can heal myself a bit. And of course to have something to look forward to every day.

To a new challenge.

#13 Just....

I'm trying to plan what clothes to pack for my trip next week. Ended up I chose 4 out 6 red colour or red base color clothes. Need to change back. *Crying*

#12 Anniversary

May 12, marked 2 years I was left in this world without a mother by my side. 2 years goes by so fast. Pejam celik pejam celik. Feeling like just few days ago I last saw her.


I'm still missing her so very much. Every single thing in life seems to remind me of her. Food, flowers, tv shows, actor/actresses. Is there a time limit for this 'missing'?


My mother might not be the best mother in the world by some other's standard. But she was the best mother for me. If, one day, God gives me the chance to be a mother myself, I wish I could be a good mother like she was. I will give all my loves to my children. I wish I can inspire them in life. I wish I can protect them through the harshness of life and world. I wish I can guide them to the good path of life.


Mom, where ever you are, I'll always going to miss you, remember you and pray for you. may we meet again, someday, in the other world.Wait for me.


Note: The white flower above, I don't know the name. But my mother loved it.

#10 Wild Flower

The flower that not many took notice or bother to take notice of it.
The reason of existence is vague. Is it unintentionally grow there or intentionally?
Some found it facsinating and embrace the beautiful color and sight its provide.
Some found it bothersome and useless and chopping it down without even take a minute to enjoy the beauty of it.
How can you call something useless just simply because you do not know the use of it?

#5 Waiting

Not yet bloomed.
Not yet reached its prime.
Not yet reached its potential.
Still green.
Still learning.

All those saying describing almost same thing or meaning.

#1: First post

Finally, created this blog after procrastinated and postponed. The plan is to create a blog by 2 week of January but dragged until mid February. Then I decided to create on 1st March. However today, I have some spare time and realized that today is 29th of February. A date that comes only once in 4 years. So I've decided to make something worth remembering of today.

Is it mean that I can only celebrate the anniversary after 4 years?